Boat-paraders mark holiday in merriment

• By MARK H. HUNTER
• Special to The Advocate
• Published: Jul 5, 2009 - Page: 1B

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JARREAU “Show me your 401(k)” was the theme of the 27th annual False River Fourth of July Boat Parade on Saturday, and did they ever.

Hundreds of boats of all sizes and shapes crowded the 22- mile-long oxbow lake as thousands of swimsuit-clad riders celebrated the nation’s birthday despite temperatures that nearly reached 100 degrees.

Many of the vessels sported posters and politically incorrect signs declaring statements such as, “Show me your 401(k) and I’ll throw you something,” or “We’ll keep our money — You keep your change.”

One creatively decorated  pontoon barge displayed signs declaring, “401(k) is for the birds,” and the riders released a cage full of white doves in front of the judges’ stand, a two-story pier at “Admiral,” which is Marc Barker’s house.

Another pontoon barge had a stainless steel toilet mounted to its canopy with a long string of Monopoly money streaming from its outlet.

American flags waved from nearly every vessel, large or small. Patriotic music boomed from several pontoon barges,  providing dramatic audio background for ongoing clashes among boaters heaving water-filled balloons at one another. Along the shore, the lawns of nearly every waterfront home were thronged with children and teens frolicking on the piers and adults barbecuing under shade trees. The aroma of grilling meat mingled with, but pleasantly overpowered, outboard engine exhaust fumes.

Just before the parade began at noon, Marshall Moses put his ski boat into the lake at the LA Express boat launch and then duct-taped a large American flag to a short mast.

Passenger Jessica Caigle made sure the children, Anna Bouton, 7; Micah Moses, 4; and Bailey Lemoine, 12, all had their life jackets cinched up tight. “I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl,” Caigle said.

John Joseph, a lone fisherman from New Roads, was pulling his bass boat out of the water. “I caught one ‘keeper’ bass and a few bream,” he said. “I threw them all back. I’m getting out of here just in time,” he said with a laugh as more vehicles pulling sport boats queued up on the ramp.

Founded 27 years ago by Lionel Kleinpeter as a way to celebrate the national holiday, the event has grown from a half-dozen boats to a flotilla that winds for several miles along what was once a horseshoe bend of the Mississippi River.

The river changed course and left behind the present lake  between 1713 and 1722, according to state historians.

“It’s just a big family reunion for everyone along the river,” Kleinpeter said as he judged passing boats from the second-story deck of “Admiral,” the name of Barker’s pier.

“It started very slow with all neighbors and we passed out candy,” Kleinpeter said. “The next year my brother, Leonard, started throwing water balloons, and the year after that we started giving out trophies.”