False River Boat Parade splits on "candidates"

• By KRISTIN GRANT
• Special to The Advocate
• Published: Jul 5, 2008 - Page: 1B - UPDATED: 12:05 a.m.

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JARREAU — Pinocchio and Jimmy Buffett went head-to-head in a “presidential race” Friday, and the outcome was a split-decision.

The two hopefuls, along with a barrage of others, were offered up as candidates in the 26th annual False River 4th of July Boat Parade. The theme: “Pick Your Own Presidential Candidate.”

The watercraft and party barges that sailed the 1.5-mile parade route vied for a series of trophies.

“We have the Founder’s Trophy, which is Lionel Kleinpeter’s trophy, since he started it,” said Marc Barker, host of this year’s event. “We have the Admiral’s trophy and I’m the current admiral, the best decorated party barge, best decorated pier, and best decorated small party barge.”

Kleinpeter said the most-coveted award is the Shoulda Gotta trophy.

“There was always somebody too good to not have gotten a trophy, so that’s when I instituted the Shoulda Gotta trophy,” Kleinpeter said. “Everybody wants the Shoulda Gotta trophy because it’s so different.”

Top honors Friday went to a party barge owned by Ann Bachmann, of New Roads. The boat was filled with individuals decked out in masks featuring the likenesses of Hillary Clinton, Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter and wearing oversized hats with broad fluorescent brims and matching suits.

A boat touting Pinocchio for president featured a sign with a slash running through the word “Lies,” and the wooden puppet’s likeness.

Boaters on another crowd-pleaser considered singer Jimmy Buffett the ideal candidate. A tiki-style fringe lined the perimeter of the boat, and signs called for a new capital: “Margaritaville.”

While spectators watched from piers along False River, judging occurred at the home of Marc and Mary Barker. Nearly 100 people gathered at the home to watch the festivities from a two-level octagonal pier.

“I think it’s great to see everyone get together — friends and family,” Mary Barker said.

Also attending the event was U.S. Rep. Don Cazayoux, who grew up in the area and has been attending the Independence Day boat races since he was a teenager.

“This is a great way to celebrate the birth of our country, and it means a lot to the people of this community and all across the Baton Rouge area,” he said.