Smiley Anders for June 10, 2009

• By SMILEY ANDERS
• Advocate columnist
• Published: Jun 10, 2009 - Page: 1B

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Nancy W. Lee, of Plaquemine, has a word of advice for Marvin Borgmeyer, who’s having trouble being an empty nester after the last of his kids left home:

“Don’t worry, because they come back — and they bring people with them!”

No exit
Claude Culross asks, “How much do you figure the city of New Orleans had to pay the government of China to quarantine Mayor Ray Nagin?”

Float your boat
You could describe the False River Fourth of July Boat Parade as the Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade on water. (A scary thought. …)

Like the latter event, the boat parade created 27 years ago by Lionel Kleinpeter deals with topical issues in a satirical way (it’s pretty hard to deal with them in a serious way when you’re bobbing around on a decorated party barge or bass boat).

This year’s theme is especially appropriate — “Show Me Your 401(k).”

The parade will be held July 4 at 1 p.m., after judging of decorated boats at noon on the south side of False River.

Branden Barker and friends will judge at the Barkers’ two-story, octagonal pier on the island side near Pointe Placid condos.

Trophies will go to the best-decorated pier, party barge and small craft, and other awards include an “Admiral’s Trophy,” a “Shoulda Gotta Trophy” and a “Founder’s Trophy” from Lionel himself.

Call Branden Barker at (225) 202-1041.

Dangerous dining
Dan Burkhalter, the Carencro Curmudgeon, comments on legislators’ efforts to do away with the use of cell phones while driving:

“After a brief trip to Opelousas, I’d like to know the difference between cell phones and a Big Mac with large fries and a large Coke.

“I’ve been put in peril more by eaters than talkers — I-49 is loaded with both.”