Smiley Anders for Sept. 22, 2008

• By SMILEY ANDERS
• Advocate columnist
• Published: Sep 22, 2008 - UPDATED: 12:05 a.m.

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We need a change of topics — something besides Gustav and Ike.

How about the worst pop song you ever heard?

Our friends from New Orleans, Morris and Marilyn, were staying with us during Gustav (that name again!) when I happened to mention, for some reason, “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies.

I said it was the worst song I ever heard, which launched a heated discussion about songs that were even worse.

So I’m turning to you, the reader, for your nominations.

We did such a contest in 1997, and “MacArthur Park” by Richard Harris was named worst song (although a surprising number of folks called it their favorite song).

“(You’re) Having My Baby” by Paul Anka came in second, and “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro was third.

I realize there will be something of a generation gap here, so I’m decreeing that you can’t enter the contest if you’ve never heard of former Worst Song nominees Mark Dinning (“Teen Angel”), Gilbert O’Sullivan (“Alone Again, Naturally”) or Terry Jacks (“Seasons in the Sun”).

Sorry, kids, this is for adults only. …
Tell me, in 25 words or less, why you hate your nominated song.

The grand prize, as in ’97, will be a po-boy and root beer lunch with me at the Pastime.

Safe to eat
Thanks to colleague James Minton for bringing this to my attention:

As if we don’t have enough trouble, rumors have been circulating that the gum in some Meals Ready to Eat distributed after the hurricane has a laxative in it.

Gerry Darsch, director of the Department of Defense Combat Feeding Program, issued a statement saying that “Nothing could be further from the truth. Soldiers in foxholes, and pilots in the pilot seat, have other things to worry about.”