Smiley Anders for March 13, 2008

• By SMILEY ANDERS
• Advocate columnist
• Published: Mar 13, 2008 - Page: 1B - UPDATED: 12:05 a.m.

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Richard Stadler of Zachary says he agrees with my recent diatribe about those irritating recorded political phone messages that aren’t covered under “Do Not Call” provisions.

He utilized his frustration when he composed for his granddaughter this poem in honor of the birthday of Dr. Seuss:

Do not call;
Big or small,
Short or tall;
Do not call.
If you call,
You’ll take a fall
In the polls,
Except for trolls
Who do not vote;
So please take note,
Do not call.

Fair warning
Hal W. Gould responds to the reader who said LSU football fans aren’t so friendly to fans of visiting teams:

“She’s right about some of them, but it’s easy to tell the ones you want to stay away from.

“If the keg is bigger than the barbecue pit, find another tailgate.”

No smiling matter
John W. “Bill” Davis, raised on a farm northeast of Denham Springs, says he’s very familiar with the home remedies of the ’30s and ’40s:

“My mother used turpentine, coal oil, castor oil, Coco Quinine and others, but the worst of the worst was the store-bought Grove’s Tasteless Chill Tonic.

“It was gritty and had a horrible taste. Not sure what it was supposed to do for us.

“My mother always pointed out the picture of a smiling baby on the label, but I was not impressed.”

Puzzling Tigers
Harriet St.Amant, who says she’s “an avid solver” of The Advocate’s LA Times Crossword puzzles, has noticed that “our very own flagship university has recently become common fodder for crossword clues.

“All of the following clues have appeared in just the last few months, and point the way to a three-letter answer: LSU:

“1. Baton Rouge Inst.
“2. 2008 BCS Bowl Champion.
“3. Its yearbook is the Gumbo.
“4. Fighting Tigers’ school.”