Smiley Anders for July 24, 2009

• By SMILEY ANDERS
• Advocate columnist
• Published: Jul 24, 2009 - Page: 1B

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One of the definitions of “news” is “information previously unknown.” So this item qualifies as news.

One morning I left my home and got on the interstate at Main and North 9th.

I drove all the way to Bluebonnet on I-10 without being stopped while wrecks were cleared off the roadway.

There were no construction delays.

No would-be NASCAR driver was weaving in and out of traffic at a high speed.

No clunker broke down, causing a traffic backup.

A huge 18-wheeler didn’t camp on my back bumper until I moved over.

And I didn’t see a driver on her cell phone while she smoked, put on makeup, drank a Big Gulp and chewed on a breakfast burrito, all at 70 mph.

Yes, it was a totally uneventful interstate drive.

And to me, that’s news. … 

A Southern thing

Bob Couhig says when he moved to Louisiana from Massachusetts after World War II, he immediately noticed cultural differences.

He was reminded of these differences during the British Open, when the eventual winner, Stewart Cink, referred to his older rival, Tom Watson, as “Mr. Tom.”